Wikipedia Lies

One of the clearest signs that Wikipedia editors are bitter, frustrated, and jealous is the parade of editors who insist on expunging articles about children who have become more well-known before reaching the driving age than those editors ever well. Wikipedia's "Articles For Deletion" message board is regularly choked with lists if child actors, many with lengthy lists of credits, who are pitilessly slammed as worthless, untalented, and so forth, simply because the editors who resent don't believe that performing is hard work, and more difficult, most of the time, for children than for adults. Particular venom is reserved for children who have more famous brothers, sisters, and parents, who are always described as inept performers whose only credentials are nepotistic. (A conspicuous exception to that rule is Ashlee Simpson, one of the few such relatives who actually seems deserving of scorn, but who escapes Wikipedia's wrath because she's such a compleat disaster that she actually resembles a haplessly incompetent Wikipedia editor.)

But Wikipedia reached a new low this weekend when it targeted Maya Ritter, a young Canadian actress. Ritter, who is targeted by the Wikichildhunters only because she is about nine years old and is starring in a Disney-produced TV film (billed above Molly Ringwald), has been deemed unworthy of Wikipedia's attention because . . . because . . . because . . . . . . well, Wikipedia doesn't give an explanation, except to say that Ritter doesn't have an entry in the Internet Movie Data Base. (Probably because the IMDB has a lag time of several months, except for people who pay to advertise themselves on the site.) It looks like one reason is that Wikipedia editors are afraid to acknowledge that products and programs which appeal to young girls -- this movies is spun off the "American Girl" line of collectible dolls -- are viewed as embarassments, worthless promotion of venal commercial enterprises. Wikipedia must, of course, be kept pure to protect its interminable presentation of the lore of Pokemon, a charitable and educational enterprise which is assuredly as pure as the driven snow in terms of commercial involvement. Ein volk, ein reich, ein Bulbasaur!

Whenever I come across Wikivindictiveness like this deletion, I, just for a moment, fell sorry for the Wikipedia editors whose lives are so pathetic and vacant that they achieve personal fulfilment by abusing children on the Internet. With malice toward none and charity toward all I would like to give public recognition to these selfless souls, in the faint hope that recognition of their completely worthless personal careers would inspire them to leave their squalid one-room basement apartments and, if only for a moment, achieve some sort of decent human contact. What sort of a coincidence can it be that all of the Wikieditors who want to wipe Ms Ritter out of the Wikirecord are almost completely anonymous, indistinguishable from the malicious cowards who use their Wikialiases to inflict pain on others? No matter. Today whatever recognition there may be comes to

Mailer Diablo
Mad Jack/Jack O'Lantern
MichaelZ526
Samsara
zzuuzz
Antares33712
KarenAnn/Mattisse

Wikichildhaters all!

And the moral of today's story is a simple and familiar one: When Wikipedia tells us all that young actors are worthless, that they are less worthy of notice than the least successful of professional athletes, than fictional animals in cartoons and video games, than prostitutes with grotesquely disfiguring breast implants,

Wikipedia lies